Richard Ayoade's Norwegian-Nigerian childhood Christmases

Norwegians exchange gifts on Christmas Eve. I felt this was both a ruse to prevent me getting up early Christmas morning and a way to blackmail me into a flurry of chores. My [Norwegian] mother dismissed this as another of my deranged paranoiac fantasies, like how it was safe to go outside after 5 p.m. After the last of the sauerkraut had been washed down with a quenching draught of julebrus, we would clear the table, wipe the table, dry the table, replace the tablecloth, wipe the tablecloth, dry the tablecloth, wash the dishes, dry the dishes, put away the dishes in the cupboard, wipe the cupboard, dry the cupboard, vacuum any dust resulting from opening the cupboard, wipe the vacuum cleaner, put away the vacuum cleaner in another cupboard, wipe down and dry that cupboard, shower, dry ourselves, wash the towels, dry the towels and sit down on the freshly wiped sofa to exchange tokens of esteem. When I say 'we', I mean my mum and I. By this time, my dad would be asleep.

- Richard Ayoade, Ayoade on Top, London, 2019, p.166

See also:

Blog: Film Festival 2014 roundup, 12 August 2014

Blog: My best & worst films of 2011, 2 January 2012

Blog: Film Festival 2011 roundup, 31 July 2011