27 March 2014

League tables for lollipop ladies

It's out here in the countryside that I come up with some of my best ideas. Over there beneath the lightning tree I was caught in a freak storm. Of course, I immediately lay down in the field to make sure I was not the path of least resistance should lightning decide to strike. And it was there whilst spreadeagled in the field, beneath the rain, wet but warm and safe, that I came up with the idea of league tables for lollipop ladies.

On further investigation I was shocked to discover that anyone who is not a registered sex offender can become a lollipop lady. Even men. The only people who should be able to command a vehicle to stop should be the Army in times of national emergency and traffic lights - and yet we're handing this power over to people who are little more than retired dinner-ladies. It has to improve, or stop.

See also:
Comedy: 'I'm leaning towards Colossal Velocity', 18 March 2013 
Blog: Norwich, 19 February 2009
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