One Internet site encouraging people to emigrate to New Zealand remarks, without a hint of an apology, that "you will meet some New Zealanders who speak so quickly and so indistinctly that nearly all migrants will have difficulty understanding them". Another offers helpful translations of Kiwi words such as "brist" ("part of the human anatomy between the 'nick' and the 'billy' "), "bugger" ("as in 'mine is bugger than yours' ") and "duck hid" (as in "a term of abuse directly mainly at males").
Even my husband, who is English, periodically demands we leave New Zealand whenever there's fresh evidence that our kids are beginning to speak like Kiwis. "My son has just used the word 'dunny'," he'll announce, bleakly. "Pack your bags. We must go this minute." Or: "My daughter has just finished a sentence with 'ay'. Get the passports." Once, I casually remarked that my husband was himself ending sentences with a rising inflexion: only by barring the way to the bathroom was I able to stop him from flinging himself on his razor blades.
- Linley Boniface, Stuff.co.nz, 8 December 2008