25 January 2015

Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow

Hugh Dennis: Earlier this week the media reported an apparent victory for the power of protest, when it was widely headlined that the Sun had dropped Page 3 and moved it behind an online-only paywall. A shrewd move, given how notoriously difficult it is to find pictures of topless women anywhere on the internet.

Steve Punt: Yes. But it turned out, confusingly, that nobody had bothered to check this with the Sun, and that it wasn't actually true.

Dennis: In fact, the whole 'breasts in public' thing is confusing. So to help you out, it's time to play the 'hilarious' panel game we like to call 'Have I Got Boobs For You!'

[Theme music]

Punt: Let's get straight onto the round we like to call 'Good Boobs, Bad Boobs'. Now we need our teams to tell us when the breasts are acceptable and when they're not. We'll start with: at a service in the Vatican?

Contestant: Good boobs.

Punt: Is quite correct, yes. Pope Benedict says it's fine to breast-feed in church. What about in Claridge's Hotel?

Contestant: Bad boobs.

Punt: That's right, put 'em away. Next, on Silent Witness, Ripper Street or True Detective?

Contestant: Is it 'good boobs'?

Punt: Yes! Autopsy boobs, always artistically justified. Next: on Game of Thrones? Yes, man at the back with a box set?

Contestant [in a sinister fashion]: Ooh, that'll be good boobs.

Punt: Yes, Sky Atlantic or BBC4 boobs, always acceptable. Next up though: in American films?

Contestant: Bad boobs.

Punt: Exploitative and unnecessary. How about in French films?

Contestant: Good boobs.

Punt: Le boob tres bon! Yes of course, middle class arty boobs, positively healthy. Next, in Nuts magazine?

Contestant: Bad boobs.

Punt: Obviously. In any pre-Raphaelite painting?

Contestant: That is good boobs.

Punt: Of course, pre-20th century boobs always acceptable!

- The Now Show, BBC Radio 4, 23 January 2015.

See also:
Comedy: Somewhat proud to be British, 24 April 2014
Comedy: Breaking the glass ceiling, 13 April 2014
ComedyMock the Week, 20 February 2010
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