30 November 2014

The Irish police force

It's only when you've been and experienced American cops that you're so glad to be either Irish or British, where our Old Bill don't get a gun routinely. Does everybody know about the Irish police force, An Garda Síochána? They're a quality police force, and they're the friend of the comedian. When I was sixteen, I got arrested for teenage drinking in a park when I asked the cop, 'Have you got a gun?' And, I quote, he said: 'Why would I need a gun when I can take off me shoe and beat you wit' it?'

Less guns, more shoes! That's why Ireland has no history of tragic school shoeings.

- Andrew Maxwell, The News Quiz, BBC Radio 4, 28 November 2014
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